okay, so i left you hanging with the headache story....sorry....lol

so i went to the doctor and she suggested many different meds to try...i tried various ones, none of them seemed to work.....one even made me go really out of it and just completely washed out....so after about maybe a month and a half of trying different ones (Midrin was the only one that helped a little bit) i started to have a new symptom. One morning while i was sitting in class waiting for it to start my vision became blurred and got to the point where i couldnt see out of a little portion of my eye. I immediately called my mom at work and she called my doctor and explained my symptoms to her. The doctor said set me up an appointment with a neurologist. She said that since i had come with this new symptom and was stilll having the very frequent migraines that she was concerned about me.
So, i went to the neuro in march and he bascially blamed the migraines on me. He said that i stress over too much and that i dont know how to have fun....Yeah right! I was so frustrated that he was telling me that it was my fault and that i had caused the migraines. I just wanted to cry because i knew that it wasnt me causing them. Like i said before, i was very happy with my life and yes, maybe a little stressed, but isnt every college student?
Well, he put me on Topomax.....

nothing is impossible.....:)

nothing is impossible for You,
for You hold my world in Your hands.....

okay...so i'm a few days late on writing this....lol part 1

okay....so i feel weird sharing this with strangers, but i feel like it might could help someone...give someone hope....

It all started last year around this time (probably late Sept or early Oct) when i began to get excruiating headaches. They would just start off and then, BAM there they were. I didnt know why i was having them, just that they were there and that i couldnt do anything when they were. I endured this horrible cycle of headache after headache, with the intensity of them growing and the frequency of them going up to 6 headaches a week. It completely changed my life, i was going to bed at 6pm, not something typical for a college student.
I had began to wonder why i could be having headaches and having them so frequently for that matter. I kept coming back to stress, but i wasnt really stressed out. I was very happy, happier than I had been in a long time (except about being in pain nearly everyday). I prayed and prayed some more to my best friend, God. To be sure He could heal me. He always had before, why should this be any different? I came to realize after a few months of this agony that it wasnt getting any better. That's when i asked my mom (more like begged for mercy) if i could please see a doctor. I was breaking up inside, it was complete torture (an understatement).
Well, i started off at the eye doctor (to satisfy my mom because she thought it might be my eyes that were giving me the headaches). Not to my suprise, my eyes were fine. Nothing was wrong with them. It was then that I decided that i needed to go to an actual doctor, someone who could help me get out of this sinking boat that i was in.
I decided to go to a local obgyn, actually she was my mom's. I went to her because i thought that maybe, possibly it could be my hormones? I'll never forget that doctor's visit....it was the beginning of a very long road.
As soon as i told the doc my symptoms and how frequently they occured she immediately diagnosed me as having migraines....I had heard of them all of my life, but i never thought that i actually would have one, let alone 5 or 6 a week. She gave me different meds to experiment with and i thought that was it.....yeah right.....

I havent actually described these headaches, so here it goes. They are one of the most horrible pains i have ever felt (next to my period cramps which made me black out on ocassions). I couldnt look at light, stand the tv, radio, or any noise for that matter. They controlled my life. All i could do when they came on was to go into my bedroom, shut the door, turn off ALL the lights(even if my alarm clock was plugged in), and just lay there and cry my heart out and plead with God to somehow make a way for me..Please give me some relief........

sorry i havent posted in the past couple of days, but i've been super busy...hopefully this weekend i can explain more about myself....hope everyone has a super weekend!

God Bless America!

election day! Go Palin

"if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray...then will i hear from heaven and forgive their sin and heal their land"

God is here, right now in this very moment.....he has a plan for us and i truly believe that the christians in america have been praying fervently the past few weeks and that God hears our cries for help......

who knows, maybe Obama is God's choice for our nation because He can use anyone! Nothing is impossible .....Obama may not love God, but God loves him....obama is God's creation, just like we all are....
dont get me wrong, i DONT want Obama for president, but if it ends up as that, then we have to accept it....we cant just pretend for the next four years that God doesnt care....because he despartely does care about our nation...

i have to remind myself not to judge others, for example sometimes i think gosh, i really dont like Obama, he is an abomination to my God.....but i also have to think about Obama just like any other sinner and lost person in the world....he needs God, desperately. Obama's grandmother died this past Sunday, and that must really be weighing on him right now with the election and everything going on....so i urge everyone to pray for him, he needs to see the light of God and the love that God has for him despite who Obama is.....
He needs the saving grace of God to come to him right now.

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

You know when you hear that song entilted "Somewhere Over the Rainbow?"
It's not always blue the majority of the time, but that's okay because trials and struggles are meant to make us stronger...a way of God testing us to see what we are made of and how we adapt to change and if we still remain close to Him.
So the next time that you hear this song (perhaps on The Wizard of Oz) just stop and think that no matter how gray or black the sky may be over the rainbow that you can still be happy and live your life , because God is right there walking beside you on the yellow brick road of life......