Saturday, March 21, 2009

This is an awesome feeling :)

I dont know what to say or how to say it, but all i know is that God is here with me right now and i just feel the biggest relief from His presence. Healing is something that has been on my mind tons lately....maybe this is my breakthrough that i've been waiting for :)

Monday, March 16, 2009

What else can i do? It's all up to Him now ....this is the hard part

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting
I will serve You While I'm waiting
I will worship While I'm waiting
I will not faint I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

This song is by John Waller.....featured in Fireproof

Wow, how awesome is my God!

It all started on Friday nite at church. I was playing a volleyball game and during the middle of it i started to feel i waited it out a lil while and then when the game finally was over i went and sat down. I started to get chills a little bit afterwards and i told my friends but they looked at me like i was it though : i was in a really hot gym, had just got done playing volleyball and i was really cold...haha....they just laughed at me :)
well i decided to go home early and when i started out to the car i couldnt hardly walk straight because i started to shake A LOT. I was about to break down in tears because i had to drive home by myself in the rain shivering and wondering what was wrong with me.
Needless to say, after i got home safely i took my temp and it was close to 101 at that point. I was thinking , okay i'm not going crazy afterall! Yeah, the fever lasted from about 9pm friday nite to 10pm saturday nite. I was scared to death at one point during the middle of the nite because my temp was at 102. 3 (and my normal body temp is around 97.4 to 97.6) and it wasnt budging with lots of tylenol. However after lots of prayer from my family and friends i am so much better now. The fever broke saturday nite around 9pm (right when my mom was thinking about taiking me to the er ) . I just started sweating from my hands and feet...haha...that was weird in itself.....anyways, just thought i'd update you guys:)

i'm just so glad that my God is my Healer :)

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

No kidney stones

Well, i just got back from my doc appt this morning. Dr. N said from all my symptoms that it definitely didnt sound like the endometriosis (which i totally agreed with) and she suspected kidney stones. So I went over to the hospital and had a CT scan done on my kidney, which turned up negative for kidney stones. So now i am just going to try a new med called bentyl, which is for ibs spasmodic activity to see if it helps at all.
But hey, what can i say? Life is still great in the midst of pain :)

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

An Eventful yet Uneventful Day

So it all started last nite....around 10 or 10:30, i went outside to get my cell phone out of my sister's car and then as i was walking back up the steps outside i got an excruiating sharp pain shoot up the left side of my abdomen. As i was walking into the livingroom i seriously felt as if i could pass out any moment. My sister asked me if i was okay, becuase she obviously saw that i was in major pain and that something was wrong with me. I told her that i was okay, it would probably go away in a few mins. However, little did i know that the pain would continue to get worse over the next couple of hours. I didnt even talk to cristian long becuase i was just sitting there in the chair bawling....tears just rolling down my face like crazy and wanting to scream, but not being able to. I was suprised by the pain levels i was in, it hadnt been like that in a LOONNNNNNG time. Needless to say, my sister eventually made me come upstairs and try to go to i listened to her. She stayed awake beside me as i cried myself to sleep...and she also kept asking me if i needed to wake up my mom or go to the emergency room or something, but i just kept saying no, hoping that it would just go away.

After sleeping i awoke this morning to the same location of pain, however thankfully the pain itself wasnt as bad. I was still worried about it though and so was my mom and sister. So i called in to the doc office to see if i could get a doc appt, but my doc happened not to be there and the other docs were booked up already. So i have an appt set for 9:30 am tomorrow morning with my usual doc. I'm just hanging in there until then. THe pain has been around almost all day long, coming and going with more painful spurts. Through all of this God has His hand in this situation and i'm not giving up hope. He cares about every kind of pain that i have and i'm just loving that fact about Him. He's here with me and i'm not afraid anymore of anything!

Nothing is too hard for God , i truly have to believe that with all of my heart :)

Saturday, March 7, 2009

jogging today

hey everyone!
just thought i'd update you guys on this weekend. Yesterday i started Spring Break! woo hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was beyond ecstatic.... last nite cristian and me had yet another date :) we were supposed to get olive garden takeout and watch madagascar 2 at my apt, however when i locked the keys out of my apt...haha, that suddenly changed the plans. However, we had a great nite eating olive garden in his truck lol..

today i went jogging after lunch and needless to say i began hurting extremely bad on my left side. I wasnt hurting at all this day so far, so that's why i went jogging. ....i thought it was safe to do so, but i was wrong. I almost passed out from the pain and i was completely by myself (well except my ipod lol) and i started to call my mom or sister to come pick me up when i got to the point of painful walking . I was so aggravated with myself because i felt like it was almost my own fault for hurting because i went jogging, but that's impossible because it's not my fault and i know that .... :)

sorry if this is a boring post, just thought i'd update you guys each and every one of you!

Dont forget that March is Endometriosis Awareness Month!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

so here's my stab at awareness!

So it all started around the age of fifteen for me. I started noticing this horrible pain in my rectum when i was around my period. It would last for hours and all i could do was go away in my room and hide becuase i was ashamed of it, i didnt understnad why i was havingn thaat. Then a few months later I noticed excruitiating menustrual cramps so bad that i couldnt hardly breathe. I rememeber the first time i ffelt those. It was in June of 2004 I believe and it was aroudn lunch time. I had just fixed something to eat and all of a sudden i had this sharp pain rip thru my body like someone had just attempted to murder me. I became extremely nauseus and hobbled to the bathroom, thinking i was about to die (literally). This episode lasted about an hour i think. I had just started my period for that month and little did i know at the time that the horrible new pain i was feeling was something that would only get worse in the next few months and years.
I didnt mention any of this to my mom or even my sister at that time becuase i was embarrassed again. Well, for one thing I though i either had a stomach virus unlike any other or that something was wrong with me that i really didnt want to go to the doctor for. So I just waited and kinda forgot about the episode until suddenly it was the next month and here i was feeling it again, yet it was even stronger. I finally mentioned to my mom and sister that i was really hurting and of course my mom asked me if i thought i would need to go to the doctor and i said no because i was 16 at the time, embarrased of going to a gynecologist (i cant imagine why now, i've been so .
So i just waited it out for the next few years having excruiating periods month after month, and probably after a few months like this i began to notice excruiating pain around ovulation also. I just kept my mouth shut about it , hoping no one would notice the pain i was in , so i wouldnt have to go to the doctor for this. I begged God every month to please make this pain go away. I even remember asking him why women have to go thru this. I should have been asking him why i have to go thru this, becasue little did i know that all women didnt go thru all of this.
Around the time that i was 18 or 19 i rememebr being in t h e bathroom during these episodes where i would be in indescriable pain, laying on the floor, crawling to my bed, half concious, blacking out from the unbearable pain, screaming with any strength i had for it to go away, trying to breathe like a pregnant was something that i discovered could keep me a little bit sane) . I would break out in the biggest sweats,a nd then i would be freezing, shaking uncontrollably....all while i am still in the worst pain ever, crying out to God to please make it go away.

After about 4 years of enduring this each and every month I finally became fed up. You reach a point, or at least i did, when i didnt care if my family knew abou the pain. I just wanted it to go away. In March 2008 I began to do some research about severe menstrual cramps, hopinig to find something that would explain why i am in severe pain. I looked at many things, however one word stuck out from the page: Endometriosis. As soon as i read up on it over Spring Break I was pretty sure that i had it. It fit all of my symptoms and explained why i was going thru what i was. I told my mom what i had found and she looked really impressed. I told her that i was tired of being in the pain and that i really wanted/needed to go to a doctor. So i went to my mom's doctor, Dr. N i will call her. She was so nice, unbelievably nice. She listened to what i had to say about the endo and agreed with me that i could very well have it. So i was put on micronor, which is a continuous bc pill...from april of 08 to nov of 08. Needless to say, the pain didnt go away, in fact it bcame worse. So i went to a GI doc (DR. C) and he ran MANY tests to see if the pain could be somthing GI related( because since june the pain was about 3 weeks out the month) . I had a pelvic ultrasound done, which showed ovarian cysts on my right ovary. I had a pelvic CT scan , small bowel study, colonoscopy, and more done with DR. C, which showed nothing. I finally went back to Dr. N in november 08 and we then discussed having a lap done the next month. I was put on seasonique to see if it made any changes, however like i thought it didnt. THen my lap was scheduled for Dec. 17. I had it and after all of these years of suffering i found out that i did infact have endo.
I am so sorry that this is extremely long, but I wrote this in the hopes that someone else suffering with endo can be diagnosed. It's a horrible feeling to have pain and not know why.
Through all of this I have been so blessed though. God is so good, and no matter what I have been faced with my God has supplied me with the hope to press on. I'm just getting started, why would i give up now?

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

March is Endometriosis Awareness Month!

It's finally here! This month is officially Endometriosis Awareness Month! It's hard to figure out how to raise awareness for this disease, so the first step is writing it up here. I really would like to share it with my friends and family, but it's a weird topic, you know? I LOVE to talk about endo and I think that can cause problems becuase I dont know when to Any ideas?