Thursday, December 31, 2009

Ten things i am mostly thankful for in 2009

1. GOD- above all things He is my redeemer, healer, and comforter
2. Crisitian- well, he is just amazing!! i'm so blessed that God has brought him into my life (almost two years ago!!!!)
3. My sisters - Stephanie, Kimberly, and Natali...i just love yall :)
4. My parents- yall are amazing and I coulldnt have made it this far without you!
5. I'm thankful to live in a country that I can still worship God and have religious freedom
6. I'm thankful that God showed me his plan and love of adoption day :)
7. I'm thankful that God is my Healer and that Endometriosis isnt a word that i feel everyday
8. I'm thankful that God showed me His will....i had been praying since highschool about my future career and even though it took a long time for an answer i know truly and wholeheartedly that i am called to be a doctor :)
9. I am thankful for all of my friends....
10. I am thankful that I am thankful :) :) :)

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

christmas q'sand a's

Welcome to the Christmas edition of getting to know your friends. Okay, here's what you're supposed to do, and try not to be a SCROOGE!!! Just copy this entire post. Change all the answers so that they apply to you. Then post this on your blog.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper!!!

2. Real tree or Artificial? I like real trees, butartifical trees are sooo much easier!

3. When do you put up the tree? The day after thanksgiving

4. When do you take the tree down? usually new years

5. Do you like eggnog? Not really

6. Favorite gift received as a child? probably a doll house

7. Hardest person to buy for? ummm probably mydad

8. Easiest person to buy for? Natali

9. Do you have a nativity scene? yep

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? mail :)

11. Worst Christmas ever? none of them have been bad

12. Favorite Christmas Movie(s)? The Santa Clause movies are my absolute favorites!

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? we started in sept thisyear

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? yep haha

15 .Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? sausage balls
16. Lights on the tree? colored and white...i like both!

17. Favorite Christmas song? umm probably one of frank sinatra :)

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Usually home

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Oh yeah.sometimes...

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Christmas Eve, and Santa's Christmas Morning

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? greediness

23. Favorite ornament theme or color? blue and silver

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner? ham

25. What do you want for Christmas this year? i just want to be with my family and with mr cristian :)

Now it's your turn. If you play, please leave me the link so I can read your answers.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

it makes one year today

one year ago today I was in surgery for my endometriosis. One year ago today i was scared to death, yet trying not to show it. One year ago I was so relieved to finally be having surgery. Now i am so thankful that I am NOT having, the difference that one year makes :)

Friday, December 11, 2009

It's worth waiting for...

Well, i just got an email from the Pre Professional Advising Center at ECU, and it looks like i didnt get selected for the Physician Shadowing Program for the Spring....i'm sad, but you know, God has a way of making things come together for his good, in his i'm trusting Him on this one :)

Monday, December 7, 2009

This Christmas Season

well, i'm just studying for finals now...all the projects are basically done and now i can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. I finish my exams next week on the 17th :) life is awesome and God is utterly amazing!!! Miracles are happening right as i speak, cause i believe it .... This Christmas season please pray for all the lost and unsaved people this time of year, especially that they will see God's love for them and that He will open their eyes to the world beyond themselves.....God's gonna do awesome things...:)

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

This is what I'm thankful for

As I was thinking this morning, I was realizing that this past year (since Nov 08) has been one of the hardest...but you know what I also discovered? It's also been the best by far :) Surgeries for endo, reactions to the aneisthesia (dont know if i spelt that right),beginning a relationship with cristian, starting at ECU as a junior (and feeling like a freshman at first), wondering wondering wondering what is my calling in life (finance or medicine?), babysitting some wonderful kids for 9 months, having weird medical problems pop up this summer (never did figure out what was going on), going into my senior year of college and still not knowing what exactly i wanted to do when i "grow up", falling completely and totally in love with the man of my dreams, realizing that i'm not perfect and neither is anyone else, having three cats inside instead of 2, deciding to put izzy up for kitty adoption ( :( ), realizing that after all of these years yearning to be a doctor I have finally decided that with no shadow of a doubt that it's God's calling on my life, having the absolute bestfamily in the entire universe!!!, realizing that life isnt worth worrying and that I should totally and completely trust God with everything......This year has been awesome! I just want to be thankful for every little thing that has happened in this past year, both good and not so good. Because everything has a reason, and a season.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Love yall :)

Sunday, November 22, 2009


it's thanksgiving next week!!!!!! :)

Friday, November 6, 2009

Wow, i'm on a roll this week..haha,

I'm just so happy ....i've had an awesome week...and this weekend is going to be even awesomer!!! My cousin Levi is getting married to a wonderful girl (soon-to-be cousin) Kasie...I already love her soo much , cant wait for her to be part of the famly :) I'm sooo happy for them, they are soooooooo cute together !
Well, i'm still gonna tell you about what i said i would....just gotta be patient you girls!!! :)

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Random late nite post

It's so late and i have class at 10 in the morning, but since i cant seem to go to sleep...guess i will blog :) You know, so many things are changing in my life right now....all for the better , and it's so wonderful to see them unfold. These are the moments that I will remember for the rest of my life.
One thing that I have felt God dealing with me lately about is faith. Why do I worry about my everyday life when I trust God with my soul? that's a question we talked about at Chi Alpha last nite....and it has really got me thinking.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

One year of bliss :)

So, in case you arent my friend on FACEBOOk, or you havent been seeing my little ticker on the side of this blog, me and cristian have officially been together for a year now!!!!! it's amazing, i love what God's doing in our lives and I couldnt ask for a better man :) He's gonna be a great husband someday, that's all i'm gonna say ...haha...details coming , i promise <3

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Faith is what keeps me going....

When everythin is sooo busy ... Until recently, I didnt realize that God has given me and everyone else something special. Deep down I knew he had, but I hadnt taken grasp of it and began to live it. You know, God's given us the ability to make choices in every situation. We can choose to be happy or frustrated with life; we can choose to complain about every little thing that we dont expect along the way, or (what seems to be the most difficult) we can simply choose to not only be optimistic but have faith in every situation that comes our way. This isnt just for the happy days, but for the VERY difficult days as well. It's God's gift to us, we can choose to accept it <3 Oh, and by the way, I'm turning in the Physician's Shadowing Program Application for next semester....God's got something AMAZING planned, I can just feel it already :)

Sunday, October 25, 2009

51 wks!!!!!

It's been 51 wks that me and cristian have been together now....only one week left and it will be a whole YEAR!!!!! :)

Sunday, September 27, 2009


man, i'm so tired...but i'm still gonna keep studying :) might as well get used to it...haha.....God is so awesome though!!!!!! <3

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Dont run when it looks like love

take another step, dont give up on me just yet....we could take a chance, we could find a child's romance, at least until we cant.....i wont run when it looks like love, i wont hide it :) This is God's love for us....He hasnt let us spend one nite alone, even if you felt like it, He was there watching over you ! Dont run from God's love and the awesome things he has planned for you <3

by the way, if you are wondering where these lyrics came from they are from Need To Breathe, from one of their songs entilted LOOKS LIKE LOVE

Saturday, September 19, 2009

My hunny bunny

I fall in love all over again each and every time i see you cristian....i love you so much :)I am sooooo blessed to have you in my life !

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Thankful Thursday

I'm thankful for what God is doing in my life. So much has happened's awesome though! I have an awesome family, a wonderful bf, and great kitties :) Just wanted to give ALL the thanks to God and praise Him for what He is doing in my life <3

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

I've finally FOUND it

Lately i've been thinking about how God has found my life for me....He's gave me yet another reason to praise him and this song called "Found" by Hillsong just expresses my thoughts exactly....God knew my destiny all along, even before i was born. He's finally given me the privledge of knowing that i AM called to be a doctor, and its amazing. I've fallen in love with Him all over again. I prayed for direction since before I went to college, this has been a prayer for over 4 years's amazing how God's timing works out and how when you least expect it He makes all your dreams come true and He rescues once more... He's my hero. <3

Verse 1:

Amazing love,
now what else shall I need
Your name brings life,
it's more than the air I breathe

Verse 2:
My world has changed,
when Your life You gave for me
My purpose found
and all that You want for me

PreChorus 1:

And I've found myself in You, Lord
And I've found myself in You

PreChorus 2:

And I've found myself in You, Jesus
And I've found myself in You, Lord


So take me to a place
where I can see You face to face
and all I wanna do, all I wanna do
is worship You
So take me to a place
where I can see You face to face
and all I wanna do, all I wanna do
is worship You

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Taking every step in obedience

Hey guys! it feels like forever since i've blogged. With medical school, comes all the stuff beforehand to even get in. From volunteering, to all the science classes, to studying for the MCAT, and much much more, that's what i',m in for for the next two years. But I couldnt be more excited about the whole experience. I'm not naive, I know that it's going to be one of the most tough yet rewarding experiences of my life. I cant wait to begin all of this and finally start my path :) There is no doubt that God has already overcome every trial that I am going to face in the future, yes He has. I may have very tough times, but it's all for the glory of my Father in Heaven. It's so great to finally understand and know what I am here for. My purpose is to be a doctor, not only be a doctor, but be a different doctor than most. I dont want to just hand out medicine, I want to be the light in the darkness that my future patients will see. I am already praying that somehow at least one person will come to Jesus Christ through this. If that happens, I will feel like I've done what I was supposed to. Dont get me wrong, I also want to be just the whole doctor thing, but It's a call on my life, and I feel more strongly about this than almost anything before. God's got a plan for this senior in college who is just deciding to become a doctor...i'm following God's Heart :)

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

It's amazing what you can do when you believe

well, my life is about to change as i know it. But it's a great change. I am going to give my two weeks notice at my job and begin to study harder and volunteer more. Med school is my passion and i'm determined to get in! So, if i sound crazy or begin to complain, please dont be shy to stop by and drop a nice comment and remind me of why i'm doing all this in the first place...:)
I cant believe that this is actually my life that I get to's amazing what God can do if you surrender every plan you've ever had to HIS will.:)
I have a pic of me the day i decided to become a doctor...i will post it soon...haha , it's funny!

Monday, August 31, 2009

major life change here......

I've decided to go to med school and become an OBGYN :)

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Jubilee Promise

Please pray for my friend Linny and her family. They have been notified by China that they are no longer approved for adopting little miss jubliee promise. But I know that our God has a bigger plan...and somehow all of this is going to work out in the end. Let the worshippers arise....I surrender to the King...:)

Friday, August 7, 2009

Thankful Thursday

Well, i'm one day late, but anyhow here it goes :

Today I want to thank God for my wonderful , most awesomest boyfriend in the entire universe! I know by now yall all have seen stuff on my blog about cristian...but i havent begin to explain how wonderful he really is. Cristian is ...loving, kind, patient, handsome, thoughtful, and so many many more things. It's so difficult to put into words how i feel about him . He is just everything i've ever asked God for, everything i've ever prayed for, everything i've ever dreamed about .
Thank you God for bringing this wonderful man into my life :)

haha, this next pic is just a funny one that cristian happened to like

Be exalted

Jesus, the most beautiful name of all names...Jesus, the only name that brings healing and strength.....when i speak your name mountains move, chains are loosed....when i speak your name darkness flees , it has no hold on me ♥ I love this song entitled When I Speak Your Name..... It's an awesome song ...take time and actually listen to the lyrics and it truly makes the world change :)

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Beach Trip

Cristian and I went to the beach today and had so much fun! I had never been to atlantic beach, so we went there. We both got burnt, him on the back and me on the face. We had sooooo much fun!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Thankful Thursday

I want to post about a very special someone in my life...i.t's my twin sister natali :) she's going to kill me for this pic!

you know, not many people can actually say that they have known their best friend since before they were born....but i can ! natali gayle....haha, she hates her middle name, but i like to tease her sometimes. Anyways, she is the bestest sister in the whole wide world, and i love her so much! I can tell her anything, and she doesnt judge me no matter what. We share the same dreams of missions and orphans and so much more.

To Natali:

I know that you are going to read this , so i just wanted to tell you that i'm not mad at you. I love you and want to thank you for watching out for me. I'm so lucky to have a "little sister" like you <3>

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Thankful Thursday on Saturday

Well, i have officially decided that i am going to jump on the bandwagon and participate in Thankful Thursdays....however, this week i got distracted and forgot to do it until now. :)

So, here it goes :

1. I'm thankful that God doesnt take a day off
2. I'm thankful for my family, my wonderful parents , three gorgeous sisters, and everyone else (too many to name)
3. I'm thankful for my job (even though it gets me aggravated at times...what job doesnt?)
4. I'm thankful for my best friend natali
5. I'm thankful for the most handsomest and wonderful boyfriend in the whole world !
6. I'm thankful for having a place to live
7. I'm thankful for my kitties (Max, Lexi, Izzy, and Nastia)
8. I'm thankful for religious freedom

Wednesday, July 22, 2009


well, so far today i havent felt as "weird" as the previous week or so.....hopefully it's a miracle and i'm getting better! yay.....:)
i went out to lunch with two of my college friends from Pitt ....Hannah and Julie are so much fun to be around....i cant believe it's been a year since we saw each other, we will definitely have to make sure that doesnt happen again...
I'm beginning to feel more of a positive attitude today, lately i've been kinda down, but for some reason, i'm just feeling better today....prayer works!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

ugh....i'm so tired of this

i am so tired of feeling like this! i dont feel right, or good at some parts of the days, particularly about 3-4 hours after eating....please pray that i will feel better very soon and that my doctor can figure out what's causing this...thanks blogger friends :)

Monday, July 20, 2009

well, i went to the doctor this morning, and after going I can honestly say that i dont know anymore than before I got there. LOL, dont you just love when that happens?
Dr. N got a Chem 7 blood test (basically checking metabolism, sugar, etc.) done before I left, but that's really all....nothing much to report, except for the fact that I am still feeling weird when it's time to eat or if it's been a while since my last meal...hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....any guesses?

oh, and to make this post funny...haha, i couldnt figure out how to work a gluclose monitor...that's sad :)
It's so wonderful to know that God is still in control of this situation :)

The Feelings These Days

so....i'm trying to get a doc appt for today....i've already called out of work, because i've been feeling weird for about the past week. I'm wondering if it's my blood sugar or something of that sort becasue it seems to be happening around the same times everyday, and then i suddenly feel better a couple of hours later.
THe symptoms are basically dizziness and lightheadedness around 12pm. However i didnt eat supper until around 9:30 last nite and i felt like it again when i woke up this morning...hmmmm...i wonder what it could be. My mom seems to think it could be anemia also, because she suffered from that when she was my age, so who knows?
Anyways i just wanted to update my blogger friends and let you know what's going on.....and if you want to , could you please just pray that the doctors will figure out what's going on, and that I can feel better very soon .. I'm praying that God just keeps me focused and that I remember that God is still there in the midst of the storm.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

dont feel like writing a long post, but just keep me in your prayers :)

Friday, July 3, 2009

My Aunt Cindy

I just found out that my mom's sister (Aunt Cindy) is in the hospital with a blood clot in her leg. I dont have many details, but if you could please pray that the blood clot will dissolve and dissapear on it's own so they wont have to go to surgery. She was getting ready to go to Hawaii with her husband and two kids and grandkids, so this is definitely a change in plans. Thanks so much ! <3

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Please pray for another blog friend and her husband!

DW and Linn need our prayers right now...DW is sick and in the hospital and Linn has a lot going on right now, with both her son Isaiah and her husband in the hospital at the same time....please pray for God's healing and comfort right now :)

Praying for Cameron

One of my blog friends Susan and her husband are anticipating the arrival of their chinese son this year sometime... September seems to be the month on their hearts, so if you could believe and pray with us that this miracle is in the process of happening in September that would be great! God does miraculous things everyday, this is absolutely no problem for him . Where two or three are gathered there I will be also. Matthew 18:20 :) <3

Friday, June 26, 2009

In You I Find My Peace

so everything is going awesome's so wonderful to see GOd's plan unfoldingn in my life! I love putting my trust and hope in Him and seeing miracles literally happening everyday...its truly amazing what God can do.....

oh Lord my God to you I give my everything to use for your purpose, to live for you and for you alone :)
this is a pic that i took last summer in just reminds me that God is looking down on us, even in the midst of the wilderness <3

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Isabel Mei

Introducing Isabel Mei (Izzy)...

this is our newest baby...haha, our kitty baby:)

I just got her last nite and she is already so happy here, she especially loves playing with the rug, and scaring her two bigger sisters. I already have given her a bath, because she had fleas, and we all know that cant be good. God is awesome!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Living Life In His Glory

So I had an awesome day at work today....just had the two boys (ages 6 and 3) instead of the regular three kids (girl age 4). I really enjoyed playing with them in the pool and just joking around....gosh, the wanna-be mama really comes out when i'm with them! I just love's great to have practice though...even if it's only for 4 days a week.
So God is trying to tell me something lately...and i've been trying to figure it out, but for some reason it's been all week long and i just keep seeking Him and I dont know what it is. Maybe it's that I just need to get a little bit closer...that would be AWESOME...becuase i want to get as close to my best friend and Saviour as possible :)
not a lot to report on here, just living life in His glory <3

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

I just cant wait that long!

My little chinese princess has been on my heart a LOT lately....this is so crazy, because i am only 21 and a half....i have to wait until i'm 30 to apply for adoption! I cant explain the feelings i have everyday just thinking about her...even though she isnt born yet. I cant begin to imagine the thoughts and burning desires in parents hearts that are already in the adoption process. I so deeply want to be in that place, but I know that God is having this be a LONG wait for a reason. I just have to trust in Him to guide me on my journey to her. It's so hard though, i see little chinese girls everywhere it seems now, and I just cant help but smile and say a prayer for them...tears are swelling up in my eyes right now. It's something deeper than just a desire, it's a passion of mine.

I will never forget the spring day in 2008 when God truly revealed to me with scripture that I was purposed to adopt...It was one of the most overwhelming feelings I've ever felt. I talk to my sister about adoption all the fact she has the passion that I do, except for Ethiopia. It's just absolutely beautiful when a stranger can love someone that they've never met and fall in love with God's plan before it even happens. That's what it is...God's plan...but I just have to be patient now and wait for it to unfold.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

here are the pics i promised

these are a few of lexi and nastia during the flea baths...and one of cristian and i also :)

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Fleas, Fleas, and MORE fleas

well, as you can tell, my life has been consumed by fleas for about the past two kitties got them and then it just got out of control all from there. Our apartment has now been treated professionally TWICE and i used some stuff from my vet for it also....hopefully they are gone!!!!! haha, i never realized the torture of fleas when other people said that they would get them in their house...but i fully understand that road now...LOL. I even have given the kitties flea baths...haha, that was a disaster in itself...i've got pics , so hopefully soon i can upload them to share..

anyways, nothing new to report here, just working and having a blast living life..and Cristian and I are doing awesome ! He's actually coming over for a little bit tonite to help me move a recliner to the dumpster (it's 20 years old and it's truly too much furniture for our apt livingroom)... ]

Thursday, May 28, 2009

I love you More Than Life

So this week has been going great! I've been working...working...working! But it's so much fun to do full-time babysitting! I have the best three kids in the world to babysit for and i couldnt ask for a better job. We swim , watch movies, play games outside and it's just so much fun having fun at work...haha.

Much hasnt happened this week, but I am feeling a sense to draw closer to God lately. It's so hard, you feel like you are the closest you can possibly be, and then He's tugging at you to come closer and learn more about Him. I've even vowed to God to take a week off from facebook, which started today at, that is going to be difficult! But I know this will allow me to pray and read my bible more, and just simply spend more time worshipping my God.

So what have all of you guys been up to lately? Has the summer begun for all of you? Is it warm where you are, or is it just barely there? If you cant tell I am super bored ...since school got out I've just been having a LOT of time on my hands, but in a way that couldnt be better becuase I had an extremely hard semester. Love you all!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

New Look!

So, I am currently trying to come up with a new look for my blog. It's rather dull and boring, so I want to jazz it up a bit! I really would like to devote more time to blogging and make it a journal that i can look back on through the years. Well, here it goes ! :)

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

You'll Be In My Heart

Well, I've officially begun another part of the journey to my little chinese girl . This summer I have a full-time job babysitting and so I have decided to set aside part of my weekly paycheck for the adoption fees...Haha I know that I have about 9 years before I should have to worry about this, but it cant hurt, right? How much does all of this cost anyways? I have seen different figures, but I'm not sure what is really accurate.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Summertime's Here! :)

I am so sorry that I have not been up here lately. It's been so crazy with school and work that I just havent had the time.
A lot has changed in the past couple of months, I've been having a blast and God has blessed me so much.
First of all, my endometriosis is gone! yes, i said it's gone! My God has HEALED me. I know that some people struggle with the thought of this, but I'm telling you the truth, i dont have pain anymore. I am free and finally able to do things that I never thought I would be able to do again. I can exercise without pain (which is a HUGE deal)....before, I couldnt even walk down the street without feeling lightning bolt fast pain shoot all around in my body. I can now jog, which is something that I have always dreamed of. I can sit and not hurt anymore. Before I got healed, I always seemed to have pain, now is it gone.
I have always believed in God's healing, and His love for me. But until I became healed I never realized that how much He truly loved me. I believe that everyone can be healed. It may come at different times than others, but God never fails...He's there for you. I guess I am preaching to myself the most, because until March 22, 2009 (which was the day I was healed) I didnt think that it was my time for healing...I just had accepted the fact that I was going to live with endo for the rest of my life. But something inside of me changed. I became scared. I wasnt able to function alone anymore, my body was literally failing on me (or so it seemed). I never felt good, always felt bad. I had finally had enough. One day I just broke down and cried in front of my mom and sister. I had reached my breaking point and had to share with someone what I was going thru.
So that day I made up my mind that it was MY time to be healed. I didnt have to wait any longer, cry anymore, and most of all be in pain all the time. I went to my pastor's house, got them to pray for me , which boosted my confidence in ALL that God could and would do for me. That totally took me by suprise when i went there. If you know me, I am very shy when it comes to things like that. I also have a hard time telling others when i was in pain. To open up and actually tell someone what i was going thru and how it was affecting me was a HUGE deal. It took a lot of courage , and my mom talked to them a lot.
However, the next day at church I was healed. I didnt go up for prayer or anything like that....but I was worshipping God (while I was doing the screen for our worship service) and I just felt an overwhelming calm come over me. God was there with me and He healed me that day, that very minute. I cant really explain what happened, because it all happened so fast. But I do remember feeling things in my pelvic area, but mostly in my rectal area (which is where the majority of my endo was located). God was restoring my earthly body and making it whole again.
To all of you non-believers out there, just give God a chance. I know it's hard to believe what I am saying, but it's really something that happened to me. I truly am healed and my body is free of endo.
Ask Him to help you. Ask Him to guide you and ask Him to come into your life and change it for the better.
I also wanted to update you girls on one more thing....Cristian and I just celebrated our 6 month anniversary on May 1st...i cant believe we have been in a relationship for that's flown by.
Anyways, thanks so much for reading my blog....and i will try to give an update more often now that I am out of school for the summer. :) <3

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

wow, i havent been around lately

hey girls, so sorry I havent been around lately, or posted anything for that has just been crazy for about the past month and it's been taking most of my free time away from me...hope to update all of u very soon :)

Thursday, April 9, 2009

the bun is on his way out of the oven

My nephew is on his way into the world :) hopefully soon i'll post some pics of little Josiah !

Saturday, March 21, 2009

This is an awesome feeling :)

I dont know what to say or how to say it, but all i know is that God is here with me right now and i just feel the biggest relief from His presence. Healing is something that has been on my mind tons lately....maybe this is my breakthrough that i've been waiting for :)

Monday, March 16, 2009

What else can i do? It's all up to Him now ....this is the hard part

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting
I will serve You While I'm waiting
I will worship While I'm waiting
I will not faint I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

This song is by John Waller.....featured in Fireproof

Wow, how awesome is my God!

It all started on Friday nite at church. I was playing a volleyball game and during the middle of it i started to feel i waited it out a lil while and then when the game finally was over i went and sat down. I started to get chills a little bit afterwards and i told my friends but they looked at me like i was it though : i was in a really hot gym, had just got done playing volleyball and i was really cold...haha....they just laughed at me :)
well i decided to go home early and when i started out to the car i couldnt hardly walk straight because i started to shake A LOT. I was about to break down in tears because i had to drive home by myself in the rain shivering and wondering what was wrong with me.
Needless to say, after i got home safely i took my temp and it was close to 101 at that point. I was thinking , okay i'm not going crazy afterall! Yeah, the fever lasted from about 9pm friday nite to 10pm saturday nite. I was scared to death at one point during the middle of the nite because my temp was at 102. 3 (and my normal body temp is around 97.4 to 97.6) and it wasnt budging with lots of tylenol. However after lots of prayer from my family and friends i am so much better now. The fever broke saturday nite around 9pm (right when my mom was thinking about taiking me to the er ) . I just started sweating from my hands and feet...haha...that was weird in itself.....anyways, just thought i'd update you guys:)

i'm just so glad that my God is my Healer :)

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

No kidney stones

Well, i just got back from my doc appt this morning. Dr. N said from all my symptoms that it definitely didnt sound like the endometriosis (which i totally agreed with) and she suspected kidney stones. So I went over to the hospital and had a CT scan done on my kidney, which turned up negative for kidney stones. So now i am just going to try a new med called bentyl, which is for ibs spasmodic activity to see if it helps at all.
But hey, what can i say? Life is still great in the midst of pain :)

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

An Eventful yet Uneventful Day

So it all started last nite....around 10 or 10:30, i went outside to get my cell phone out of my sister's car and then as i was walking back up the steps outside i got an excruiating sharp pain shoot up the left side of my abdomen. As i was walking into the livingroom i seriously felt as if i could pass out any moment. My sister asked me if i was okay, becuase she obviously saw that i was in major pain and that something was wrong with me. I told her that i was okay, it would probably go away in a few mins. However, little did i know that the pain would continue to get worse over the next couple of hours. I didnt even talk to cristian long becuase i was just sitting there in the chair bawling....tears just rolling down my face like crazy and wanting to scream, but not being able to. I was suprised by the pain levels i was in, it hadnt been like that in a LOONNNNNNG time. Needless to say, my sister eventually made me come upstairs and try to go to i listened to her. She stayed awake beside me as i cried myself to sleep...and she also kept asking me if i needed to wake up my mom or go to the emergency room or something, but i just kept saying no, hoping that it would just go away.

After sleeping i awoke this morning to the same location of pain, however thankfully the pain itself wasnt as bad. I was still worried about it though and so was my mom and sister. So i called in to the doc office to see if i could get a doc appt, but my doc happened not to be there and the other docs were booked up already. So i have an appt set for 9:30 am tomorrow morning with my usual doc. I'm just hanging in there until then. THe pain has been around almost all day long, coming and going with more painful spurts. Through all of this God has His hand in this situation and i'm not giving up hope. He cares about every kind of pain that i have and i'm just loving that fact about Him. He's here with me and i'm not afraid anymore of anything!

Nothing is too hard for God , i truly have to believe that with all of my heart :)

Saturday, March 7, 2009

jogging today

hey everyone!
just thought i'd update you guys on this weekend. Yesterday i started Spring Break! woo hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was beyond ecstatic.... last nite cristian and me had yet another date :) we were supposed to get olive garden takeout and watch madagascar 2 at my apt, however when i locked the keys out of my apt...haha, that suddenly changed the plans. However, we had a great nite eating olive garden in his truck lol..

today i went jogging after lunch and needless to say i began hurting extremely bad on my left side. I wasnt hurting at all this day so far, so that's why i went jogging. ....i thought it was safe to do so, but i was wrong. I almost passed out from the pain and i was completely by myself (well except my ipod lol) and i started to call my mom or sister to come pick me up when i got to the point of painful walking . I was so aggravated with myself because i felt like it was almost my own fault for hurting because i went jogging, but that's impossible because it's not my fault and i know that .... :)

sorry if this is a boring post, just thought i'd update you guys each and every one of you!

Dont forget that March is Endometriosis Awareness Month!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

so here's my stab at awareness!

So it all started around the age of fifteen for me. I started noticing this horrible pain in my rectum when i was around my period. It would last for hours and all i could do was go away in my room and hide becuase i was ashamed of it, i didnt understnad why i was havingn thaat. Then a few months later I noticed excruitiating menustrual cramps so bad that i couldnt hardly breathe. I rememeber the first time i ffelt those. It was in June of 2004 I believe and it was aroudn lunch time. I had just fixed something to eat and all of a sudden i had this sharp pain rip thru my body like someone had just attempted to murder me. I became extremely nauseus and hobbled to the bathroom, thinking i was about to die (literally). This episode lasted about an hour i think. I had just started my period for that month and little did i know at the time that the horrible new pain i was feeling was something that would only get worse in the next few months and years.
I didnt mention any of this to my mom or even my sister at that time becuase i was embarrassed again. Well, for one thing I though i either had a stomach virus unlike any other or that something was wrong with me that i really didnt want to go to the doctor for. So I just waited and kinda forgot about the episode until suddenly it was the next month and here i was feeling it again, yet it was even stronger. I finally mentioned to my mom and sister that i was really hurting and of course my mom asked me if i thought i would need to go to the doctor and i said no because i was 16 at the time, embarrased of going to a gynecologist (i cant imagine why now, i've been so .
So i just waited it out for the next few years having excruiating periods month after month, and probably after a few months like this i began to notice excruiating pain around ovulation also. I just kept my mouth shut about it , hoping no one would notice the pain i was in , so i wouldnt have to go to the doctor for this. I begged God every month to please make this pain go away. I even remember asking him why women have to go thru this. I should have been asking him why i have to go thru this, becasue little did i know that all women didnt go thru all of this.
Around the time that i was 18 or 19 i rememebr being in t h e bathroom during these episodes where i would be in indescriable pain, laying on the floor, crawling to my bed, half concious, blacking out from the unbearable pain, screaming with any strength i had for it to go away, trying to breathe like a pregnant was something that i discovered could keep me a little bit sane) . I would break out in the biggest sweats,a nd then i would be freezing, shaking uncontrollably....all while i am still in the worst pain ever, crying out to God to please make it go away.

After about 4 years of enduring this each and every month I finally became fed up. You reach a point, or at least i did, when i didnt care if my family knew abou the pain. I just wanted it to go away. In March 2008 I began to do some research about severe menstrual cramps, hopinig to find something that would explain why i am in severe pain. I looked at many things, however one word stuck out from the page: Endometriosis. As soon as i read up on it over Spring Break I was pretty sure that i had it. It fit all of my symptoms and explained why i was going thru what i was. I told my mom what i had found and she looked really impressed. I told her that i was tired of being in the pain and that i really wanted/needed to go to a doctor. So i went to my mom's doctor, Dr. N i will call her. She was so nice, unbelievably nice. She listened to what i had to say about the endo and agreed with me that i could very well have it. So i was put on micronor, which is a continuous bc pill...from april of 08 to nov of 08. Needless to say, the pain didnt go away, in fact it bcame worse. So i went to a GI doc (DR. C) and he ran MANY tests to see if the pain could be somthing GI related( because since june the pain was about 3 weeks out the month) . I had a pelvic ultrasound done, which showed ovarian cysts on my right ovary. I had a pelvic CT scan , small bowel study, colonoscopy, and more done with DR. C, which showed nothing. I finally went back to Dr. N in november 08 and we then discussed having a lap done the next month. I was put on seasonique to see if it made any changes, however like i thought it didnt. THen my lap was scheduled for Dec. 17. I had it and after all of these years of suffering i found out that i did infact have endo.
I am so sorry that this is extremely long, but I wrote this in the hopes that someone else suffering with endo can be diagnosed. It's a horrible feeling to have pain and not know why.
Through all of this I have been so blessed though. God is so good, and no matter what I have been faced with my God has supplied me with the hope to press on. I'm just getting started, why would i give up now?

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

March is Endometriosis Awareness Month!

It's finally here! This month is officially Endometriosis Awareness Month! It's hard to figure out how to raise awareness for this disease, so the first step is writing it up here. I really would like to share it with my friends and family, but it's a weird topic, you know? I LOVE to talk about endo and I think that can cause problems becuase I dont know when to Any ideas?

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Interview Questions

1. What is your dream car?
My dream car is definitely a white hummer! I am obsessed with of my friends could clue you in on that little tidbit about me ....for instance when I go on vacation I play the Hummer Game...i count all the Hummers i see ..haha.....corny i know :)

2. What is the one fashion trend you love and the one you can't stand?
The one fashion trend I love would be the 80's look.. the one I hate would be very weird looking sunglasses

3. Who is your favorite actress/actor?
My favorite actress is either Julia Roberts, Jennifer Lopez, or Anne Hathaway

4. What would be your ideal job? My ideal job in the finance world would be in a great finance company working as either a financial analyst or advisor. If it could be outside the business world I would probably either be an obsetrician or a person who works for charities who helps underdevelped countries
5. If you had to pick one food to eat for the rest of your life what would it be?
Definitely Mac and Cheese....I LOVE it!

If you want to be interviewed let me know!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

life's really busy these days

i'm so sorry that i havent been blogging lately.....between school, work, and cristian i just havent had lots of time to update you guys...hope you all are doing well! I've had some pain, but more random this time. It hasnt been as bad lately, so that's wonderful news!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

i'm smiling because i've been tagged :)

1.) God, He is my everything!

2.) My wonderful boyfriend....he's the love of my life and I am so thankful that God sent him to me...:)

3.) Music makes me smile, it's special almost magic sometimes

4.) Exercising....except when i'm not in pain lol

5.) Being a Finance Major.....even thought the economy is the way thtat it is these days, nothing can take away the joy that I have knowing this is what God wants me to do

6.) My family, they are the most awesomest people in the world!

I've Tagged:
Tonyia, Jeanne, Jenn
RULES:Link to the person who has tagged you.Write down six things that make you happy.Post the rules, tag six others and let them know you did it.Then tell the person when your entry is complete.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

What's this? Already? I

i'm starting to feel some pain again......not really intense, but enough that it's uncomfortable...especially like one time today when i was walking across the parking lot. Before i had the lap i was in pain for 3 weeks out of the month....i was absolutely miserable! I've had some pain, some that's been extremely severe,and some that 's barely been noticable since the surgery. Last week i didnt hardly have any pain at all. I was hoping that wasnt just the no pain week. It really had encouraged me, but i guess i got fooled by the lack of pain last week. I've been doing really good up until now, was hoping that the pain was really going away :) but i'm still hoping and trusting in God to work this together for His purpose and will for my life....i just wish that the pain wasnt part of it. It's going to be okay though, it always is when God's got your back :)

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

I'm Truly Letting Go This Time

There have been lots of changes in the past couple of months and i've been saying to God that i'm letting go of my plans and dreams and grasping his fully, but today it has truly hit me. I'm falling deeper in love with cristian, the best boyfriend ever. I've had surgery and dont know what the future holds for me. I have no clue what i want to do when i graduate school in a year and a half ( . I feel God telling me different things about my future, like maybe being involved in missions, or something of that nature. It doesnt really scare me, but it's just something that i'm thinking about currently. I've always felt pulled in that direction but thought that maybe it was just me and not God. But now i'm starting to think otherwise. I'm letting go though, God's got it all in control. He knows what's best for me and what will happen..:)

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Here's a song by Francesca Battistelli....i love her music!
My heart beats, standing on the edge
But my feet have finally left the ledge
Like an acrobatThere’s no turning back
I’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
Losing controlOf my destiny
Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go
This is a giant leap of faith
Trusting and trying to embrace
The fear of the unknown
Beyond my comfort zone
I’m letting goOf the life I planned for me
And my dreams
Losing controlOf my destiny
Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go
Giving in to your gravity
Knowing You are holding meI’m not afraid
Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
Feels like I’m falling and this is the life for me

two snow days in a row!

well, this is the second snow day! hopefully i can put some pics up here soon! i've been sick with a virus for the past couple of days but i feel a lot better today! Hopefully i can go out and play in it...with my kitties, lexi max and nastia....:)

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

I got a JJJJJJJJJOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBBBB! just part time, but hey...i got a job!

I now have a part time babysitting job! I 've been trying to get one for so long now, GOD is awesome!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

It's a long journey, but worth the wait!

okay, so i've been waiting for this post op appt which seems like forever, but today was absolutely perfect! I went in and she confirmed the diagnosis of endometriosis, told me where it was, and basically confirmed the beliefs i had for the past 9 months. It's one thing to have endo and not realize that you have it for a reason, just take it for granted , like a curse. Believe me i know what the pain feels like and what the emotional side effects are from the bc, different meds, surgery, recovery, and simply having the disease. I am NOT going I've just suddenly realized in the last week that God has chosen me for this journey and i shouldnt question his reasoning. That doesnt mean that i dont believe in healing or in God turning a situation completely around, because i have every bit of faith that he can do that in anyone's life including my own. I come to realize that you can either come to accept what God wants you to or that you can hate yourself everyday for what is happening to your body. You can really get depressed thinking about the future with kids and just dealing with the pain that endometriosis brings your way, but i've decided that from this day on endometriosis doesnt own me. I may have endometriosis, but that's not all i have. I have God first of all, a great family that could never be replaced, my best friend and twin sis and supporter, a wonderful boyfriend that doesnt mind that i have this disease, and so many friends (both ones that i know, and ones that i only come into contact with over the web) . I dont have to be lonely, be sad , or be frustrated anymore. I can be happy that i still have my life, i may have pain but that's not who i am. I am a beautiful, healthy (other than this, and intelligent daughter, sister, grandaughter, and girlfriend. God's got my back and i dont have to worry about the future anymore, He's here and His love for me is all that i need.
So i figured i would update you wonderful women on where my endo was located :
my doc told me today that the bulk of my endometriosis was located in my cul-de-sac and rectum area. She wasnt able to remove all of it because she was afraid of tearing a hole in my rectum. But she did get a huge chunk of it (i think those were her exact i also had some located on my right pelvic wall, but she said it wasnt as much as the other location and she is confident that most of my pain was coming from the rectum and cul-de-sac area. She also mentioned the uterer area, but she said that was too risky to remove from that area. I am starting a new bc pill that has a little bit more estrogen in it, so we'll see how that turns out. I have faith that God's going to let something I am really glad that i finally got the chance to have a lap becuase it really made me feel like i wasnt crazy anymore ...not really crazy, but just that it confirmed what i felt like. Finally i have the confimation of all those last 5 or 6 years of complete torture (earlier on it was just around ovulation and my period, but this year as of june it was pretty much everyday) . God is so awesome, i know i say that a lot on my status, but He really is. I've truly discovered what life is all about and what i have to do. I almost feel like if i hadnt gone thru all of this that i wouldnt be where i am today. Endometriosis teaches you a lot about life, if you allow it to.
Sorry this is so long, but i just felt like saying all of this, maybe it can encourage someone who maybe is just starting out on their endo journey, like i was almost a year ago. THanks to all of you wonderful women for every bit of encouragement and wisdom , without you dont know what i would do. Good nite!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

okay, so it's changed again! lol

the appt is actually this thurs....yay! so i guess i'll be updating you sooner than i thought! Hope all of you are having a wonderful week so far!

well, i just got the call from a nurse at my doc's office and it looks like my post-op appt has been rescheduled to next mon! It's kind of aggravating, but oh well, i've waited this long to find out that i actually have endometriosis, so what's a few more days to find out exactly where it was located?

Monday, January 5, 2009

Check out my new myspace group! :)

i recently created a new group that hopefully will help me on the journey to seeing my little chinese princess one day. I've got a long journey ahead of me, seeing that i'm only 21 and i have a long time to wait. I know that one day it will all be worth it when i see her.
Just feel free to check my group out and any advice left would deeply be appreciated! The name of the group is My Little Chinese Princess

thanks so much...hopefully i can update some more about my surgery tomorrow after i go to my post op appt ....hope everyone has been having great year so far!